139. Monster Story
August 16, 2008
It would get inside your cell phone. It would go through your list of contacts. It would call them and pretend to be you.
That’s how it learned things. Like your weaknesses.
From there, it was easy to destroy you.
136. Toast Post
August 13, 2008
All the pieces of toast got up and walked across the counter. So we built a moat of jam and waited for them all to fall in.
119. Walking out of the Bathroom
July 27, 2008
“Dude, Brian, I just had a great shi— I mean duh— I mean cra— I mean, Ohhh, hi Great-grandma, gosh. When did you get here? Where’s Brian?”
Maybe Great-grandma’s a zombie too.
I’ve been slipping, guys. I’ve been tired and busy lately. BUT, this week, there will be FIVE stories I can be proud of. And if I like them, so will you.
114. Two Lines about Working
July 22, 2008
“Sorry, did I not mention the part where I was trying to work?”
“Okay, okay. See you later.”
image: carf on flickr
76. This is What it Felt Like to Change Her Life
June 14, 2008
75. Period Sex
June 13, 2008
“That was great,” she said languidly, watching their cigarette smoke spiral up toward the bedroom ceiling. She paused. “Do you know my husband won’t even have period sex?”
Tony adjusted his powdered wig and let his toes drape lazily along the harpsichord bench.
“Hey,” he said, “anything for thee.”
image: margolove on flickr
54. Checkers
May 23, 2008
It was summer. Pete and his imaginary friend went into the barn to play checkers. It was yellow in there, and a little dusty. Pete’s imaginary friend won, but that was cool.
Then they drank mint juleps.
image: glynnish on flickr
52. Don’t Do It
May 21, 2008
Just sleep every third hour, she told herself, and see what happens. After a few days the ground always looked like it was boiling, and it would take her several seconds just to tell if it was raining or if that was sunshine falling down on her arms.
image: deepwarren on flickr
51. Cookies
May 20, 2008
Emily wanted a dog. So she went to the pet store and bought one. Then, she decided it was cute, so she let it play in the yard. She mixed up some cookie dough to put in the already-preheated oven.
image: scubadive67 on flickr
48. Christmastime
May 17, 2008
My roommate just pissed on my Christmas tree. It wasn’t inside yet, just propped up by the door to our apartment while I moved furniture around to make room for it.
image: David Zellaby on flickr
